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We all know people who seem to be just naturally cheerful and upbeat. Our friend, “Sam,” immediately comes to mind. His partner “Beth” told us that he was one of the happiest people she has ever encountered. It’s what initially attracted her to him nearly 30 years ago, and what helps sustain their bond decades later.
How many of us have said, “My kids gets in trouble for the same thing every single day and still keeps making the same choices. Nothing works!”
Or, “They just won’t listen to me until I’m screaming like a crazy person.”
We’ve all been there.
But our words of frustration are actually the exact answers to our problems … the methods we’re currently trying are not effective for this child at this stage of development. Nothing works… so far.
Ever had an argument? Most of us have. But have you stopped to think about why we have arguments?
Arguments in relationships are often based on the emotional response of feeling unheard. You’ve said it a thousand times, and still … nothing changes.
For many, the first ADHD treatment that comes to mind is medication. After all, ADHD is a condition rooted in the way the brain works, and ADHD meds seem to be the most effective technique we have for altering people’s brain chemistry in a way that reduces ADHD symptoms.
Many people with attention-deficit hyperactivity (ADHD) learn to use various tools or other methods to compensate for the areas in which they struggle. Sometimes these methods can work well. They are often a great asset that has limited consequences.
Some sayings might be well-intended, but that doesn’t make them true, let alone easy to hear. Case in point: “You can’t find love until you learn to love yourself.”
The people who come to me for help tend to hate that thought. “If I knew how to love myself more,” they say, “I would have started long ago. In fact, I wouldn’t even be in therapy if I had that figured out.”
One of the quickest ways to undermine a teen with ADHD is by underestimating the impact of ADHD on academic planning. As Dr. Ari Tuckman, an international expert on ADHD and author of the book More Attention, Less Deficit, says, “Too often, 504 plans (academic supports) look good on paper, but don't take into account the fact that many teens with ADHD don't fully see how ADHD is impacting them, don't want to be seen as different, and therefore aren't motivated to really make use of those services.”
I find it fascinating to watch an object rolling down a hill, gaining momentum exponentially. Having never taken a physics class, I can’t tell you anything about the mathematical formula behind that, but it is a phenomenon that I have observed not only with moving objects, but with emotions, thoughts and behaviors as well.